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June 17, 2008

Virginia Protective Orders

An earlier version of this article by Gaea L. Honeycutt was published in Average Girl Magazine

On July 1, 2007 the Fairfax County Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court joined the rest of Virginia by using detailed forms to file protective order affidavits. Until now domestic relations officers typed the affidavits based on interviews with petitioners -- a practice that began when the office first opened. However, the J&DR Court decided that the officers’ practice of typing the affidavits, while conducted ethically, walked the line between duty and advocacy.

This change likely hasn't registered with most Fairfax County citizens, who usually don’t know where to begin with protective orders. There are three types of protective orders in Virginia: 1) Emergency Protective Order or EPO, 2) Preliminary Protective Order or PPO, and 3) Final Order of Protection or PO. EPOs can be obtained 24 hours a day from either a judge or a magistrate. They’re effective for 72 hours, giving petitioners the opportunity to make it to the J&DR Court to file a PPO.

Once filed, the PPO is effective for 15 days, and a hearing is scheduled for the PO, which is effective for 2 years. When filing the PPO, there is a comprehensive list of requests a petitioner can make -- from retaining possession of a shared automobile, to barring the abuser from failing to pay utility bills, to prohibiting the abuser from taking children from school. This information is transferred to the PO.

Other changes impacted the entire state on July 1, 2007. In the past, a magistrate could choose not to issue an EPO if s/he did not believe there was a likelihood of future assault. As of last year, the law presumes that there is a likelihood of future assault unless the victim says otherwise. A magistrate must provide information to the police officer on filing for PPOs and POs. Also, vicitms who filed for PPOs used to have to re-file if the abuser couldn’t be served. Although the Sheriff tries to serve a PPO several times, it’s not uncommon for abusers to hide from the processor. The new regulations give the judge the discretion to extend the PPO for up to six months.

When asked about the most common mistakes petitioners make in filing protective orders, Jerry Rich, Assistant Unit Director of Domestic Relations Services, noted, “Their biggest mistake is coming unprepared. The process is tougher and a lot of cases are he-said-she-said.” Petitioners should be sure to bring pictures, and documents; share information on warrants or pending legal action; and supeona or bring witnesses from after the violent incident, such as police officers, friends or family.

New Virginia residents with protective orders from other states do not need to re-file in the Commonwealth, however they should carry a certified copy of the order with them at all times. “All states recognize protective orders from other states,” explained Mr. Rich. Victims of domestic violence should be sure to file for the protective order in the state where the incident occurred.

For help, resources or counseling, call the Virginia Hotline at 1-800-838-8238, and try these sites in the Commonwealth or across the country:


Family Violence Prevention Fund (www.endabuse.org): Find resources for adults, teens and immigrants.

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE, 1-800-787-3224 (TTY), www.ndvh.org): Find information on domestic violence and options for dealing with it, and get your state’s hotline number.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (www.ncadv.org): Find information in staying safe, policy developments, statistics and other programs in the U.S.

WomensLaw.org (www.womenslaw.org): Find legal information about domestic violence for your state, including your state’s process for filing protective orders.


Gaea Honeycutt
blog@weirdingword.com


Weirding Word®, a division of G.L. Honeycutt Consulting, LLC, is a virtual publication department that provides editing, freelance writing, and publication and web design services.

Copyright 2008 Gaea L. Honeycutt. All rights reserved.

March 30, 2008

Simplifying Life

Colleague Liz Milner recently interviewed founder and co-director of Simply Living America, Carol Holst. Liz, a perpetual yet recovering clutter bug, has written a few articles about simplifying life. Read the interview for Empty Nest: A Magazine for Mature Families.

Gaea Honeycutt
blog@weirdingword.com



Weirding Word (SM), a division of G.L. Honeycutt Consulting, LLC, is a virtual publication department that provides editing, freelance writing, and publication and web design services.

Interested in guest blogging? Please see the Weirding Word (SM) Blog Guide at www.weirdingword.com/PDF/WW_Blog_guide.pdf.

March 28, 2008

A Hopeful Romantic: Communication Tips from a Romance Author

A guest blog by Shelia M. Goss

I’m a romantic at heart. I believe in romance. I believe that there’s the perfect man for the perfect woman, and when the two meet, all will be well in the world. At this point, you’re probably thinking, "Wake up already." No, I’m not living in a fantasy world - romance is alive and well and not just in romance books.

Contrary to what the statistics may say (divorce rate is on the rise), women and men still need each other. Women can be independent and wanting a man doesn’t make one less independent. A man can be in a monogamous relationship without the fear of losing himself.

We have to appreciate the differences and embrace them. One good way to enhance our relationships is communication. Communication doesn’t mean just verbal, but other ways to show our mate that we appreciate them.

Some things we just take for granted, but when not done, can cause a little friction. If you’re not already doing some of these things, try it and see what happens:


  • Give your mate your undivided attention. This means that sometimes you need to let calls go to voice mail; turn off the TV; pull yourself away from email and the computer—you get the point.

  • Schedule a date night. Whether it’s once a week or once a month, new and old couples need a night just to themselves. If you have kids, find a reliable babysitter. Do what you have to do so you and your mate can keep the flames burning. Keep in tune to what attracted you to your mate in the first place.

  • Allow your mate some “me time”. Every now and then we all need to spend time away from our mates—whether it’s to read, a long hot bubble bath, a trip to the spa, hanging out with friends, or just quiet time alone. Believe it or not this can help your relationship.

  • Give a card, send an email/text message or make a phone call “just because”. Don’t wait for special holidays or birthdays to show that you care. Do something every week, if not every day, to let your mate know you’re thinking of them. And not out of any obligation, but because of your genuine affection towards them.

  • Share a part of yourself that you don’t share with anyone else. This helps create a special bond and should bring you closer.

  • Make a special CD with both of your favorite songs. Don’t forget to make duplicates so you each can have a copy in your cars (smile).

There are so many other ways to make your relationship stronger, but these are a few simple things that you can do. Remember to take the time to REALLY get to know your mate’s likes and dislikes. Don’t be afraid to cater to their needs. Read together, laugh together, and share a spiritual life together.




Shelia M. Goss is the ESSENCE MAGAZINE Bestselling Author of My Invisible Husband, Roses are Thorns, Violets are True, Paige’s Web and Double Platinum. With unique storylines, her goal is to create “stories with a twist”. Shelia was the recipient of three 2003 Shades of Romance Magazine Reader’s Choice Multi-Cultural Awards for her debut novel, Roses are Thorns, Violets are True. For more information, be sure to visit her website at www.sheliagoss.com/.



Weirding Word (SM), a division of G.L. Honeycutt Consulting, LLC, is 
a virtual publication department that provides editing, freelance 
writing, and publication and web design services. Interested in guest 
blogging? Please see the Weirding Word (SM) Blog Guide at www.weirdingword.com/PDF/WW_Blog_guide.pdf.